songsofemelnuvi: Two parents hugging a child (fam damily)
My wife is currently hugging me and nuzzling me. Her fur is soft, gossamer, I would even say it is as silk. It tickles against me and I like the feeling. I look to my left, where she is, and I see her. Green fur fully in its summer coating, the black stripes illuminated by the anti-grav helioglobes that provide Light in Front. Her fur shines, and the light playing across the green and black is beautiful. As is the content look on her face as she rests her head now upon my shoulder, near the hard node where my shoulder-brain is located, feeling her & seeing her muzzle from my peripheral vision.

On my lap lie snoozing Kashori and Tetresuv. Kashori is Masadri's daughter, conceived approaching a year ago. She's his facial stripes, as due to super-science, have I. She's big green eyes and like my children has six Xeltrigan eyes. She's sleeping calmly, and in the folds of my civilian-garb long skirt she rests, comfortably, in the space of my calf and knee. And Tetresuv on my right. Kanari's son. Has more of her deep dark reddishness. If Kanari were human, she'd be as dark as human melanin permits. I am a more greenish tinge, some call me the Walking Dead due to it. It's because Masadri did not put his faith in the Roes'in curse of the Terror Who Walked As Darkness, but instead made me part-Autin. Miss 57 Varieties. Tetresuv and Shezarae are thus not truly incestuous, for I am more a mutated product of Kanari's genetic material with.....other...material.

Valzon sits at the Sim-Screen, age-slid to 70. Types up something for his private tutoring. The history of the Gerushunai. Of Vakin Azashadu, a figure romanticized by historians rationalizing to us how we fled our homelands. Extracting glory from terror, from starvation, from the humiliation expected and the relief instead when the Hatari King bowed before us and the Thlal lords said that to them the lands we now live in are ours. He the last King of our people and managed to turn potential death of all of us to our salvation, laying down his crown and not seeking the new leadership, allowing new blood to come in.

Merehaza, Kameshi, and Agati and my namesake-daughter are all in a rough and tumble game, they are currently giggling and squealing. As young children should. Kameshi is content with our coming back safe, and she gives us tight hugs on each return. She is the one who was first to wait both days.

Shezarae is listening to her Mommy Kanari tell a story from slavery. It's one of the milder, more hopeful ones. Weakness turning strength against itself. Kanari's whole life is in that story. Shez is wearing a Hatari robe and listens with a quiet focus. The infants aside from Tetresuv and Kashori are all in their cradles. Kaltani and Shezani were big babies, and are growing pretty fast. They contain the beauty Susan sacrificed. Sacrificed for a grotesque victory of sorts that in the end cost her everything. All for want of a few seconds. They are swaddled, asleep. In cradles.

There is a light rain outside Gazalhuzin. I can hear it. My hearing is as keen as a cat's. My sense of smell, too, and smell is to me what telepathic-vision was to Kanari. When she was blind the world was blue lightning. When I was blind, the world was entirely scent. Then my wife put her hand to my eyes and withdrew them and the first thing I saw since the blinding was her face. Fate came, fate healed. Outside a light rain.

Rain go in peace.

Was reminded of Pushkin:

Stormclouds dim the snow, weaving the tempest into patterns wild,
like a beast the gale is wailing, and now howling like a child.

Then of Brooke:

Out of the nothingness of sleep, the slow dreams of eternity,
there was a thunder on the deep, I came because you called to me.

I broke the night's primeval bars, I dared the old primeval curse,
and burst free as a thousand shining stars, upon the universe.

The eternal silences were broken, Hell became Heaven as I passed,
what shall I give you as a token, as a sign that we have met at last?

I shall break and forge the stars anew for you, shatter the heavens with a song,
immortal in my love for you, because I love you very strong.

That, O wife of mine, who rests on my lap, quietly stroking the fur of Kashori is our love. <333.

songsofemelnuvi: Sarasvati, Hindu goddess of learning (Default)
And I should note that I am immensely grateful for my family. For my father, for my wife, for my children & nieces and nephews, and for my extended sisters. With the mission tomorrow, I am reflecting on some things, and I've come to realize that I've been to see neither Rach nor Sarah as much as I should have been, and I am going to be doing more of it. I've the mission to get through first (and primarily so it doesn't end up adding fuel to the problems you guys already have, I'd not forgive myself for that or for risking it) but the moment that's over.....I'll be coming over at least to the SPI (if the Rhiannon-space is still on lockdown I shall of course respect that) and doing things there. It's been too long.

And I should also note that on a more vindictive nature one of the things which irritates me the most about Singlet-mask is pretending to be a good little Evangelical. We try to subvert it as much as possible, but as much as possible is not very much in the Deep South. >.> As a person from a culture which believes in many gods, the atheism of the Front irritates me immensely in no small part because if it could see/recognize that for instance, Morrighan-who-is-Revcel-and-Kesheli's and Rachel-Morrighan and Rachel-Freyja and Imperial-Odin are all very real indeed....but it's a useless cause. It dismisses them all as a kind of Goa'uld-type faker at best. >.>

To have to pretend to be a good little Baptist is something I in particular chafe at. I for one find it disgusting to pretend to like a religion which centers around how Earth-counterparts of people like me are disgusting filthy causers of all societal misery now and in the past. I am not alone in that, but it cannot be helped that I am here because of this day meaning something to the Axhamani as well (and it doesn't help that the Axhamani at least have a trinitarian monotheism centered around a god-man who preached peace and social justice but got an execution method for treason against the state that deals with something *other* than the evils of sex and which is in fact a sex-positive religion, reasoning that if Suvaamush created the desires then it is denigrating that which He made good to attempt to suppress them). But that's what I have to do, and on this particular Sunday, no less. >.>

So that's how things are this morning.


Edit-Oh, I forgot to mention this: Lady Kanari sang the Battle Cry of Freedom last night. I think it's in part becoming the new Crew "anthem" of sorts. It's a catchy tune that fits in with a lot of stuff, and she put some real emotion into it. She's a good singer, too. Has a deeper voice than I do.



songsofemelnuvi: Sarasvati, Hindu goddess of learning (Default)

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