songsofemelnuvi: Sarasvati, Hindu goddess of learning (Default)
I'm currently in-Frontspace holding my twins by Suvacel. Akhlani, my eldest by Suvacel is also looking at me, her big black eyes staring at me. Because she knows that Suvacel was far from my favorite person, and is worried that that will rub off in how I treat her and her infant twin sisters. It will not. Suvacel was a monster, to be certain. But much of her monstrosity arose from trying to please Kakaro, who himself was a monster and adopted her as his own daughter. Kakaro was in many ways the dark mirror of my father, everything in reality that some people falsely believe my father is.

The sadness of it was that so much of her own evils arose from trying to earn the love of a dour, abusive thug who didn't truly care for her. Her despair and turn to outright evil was marked by realizing that was how it had always been and she'd been blinding herself to the reality that was there, if she had only seen it. These three children have been returned to me from beyond the Dark Void that separates Dead from Living. Their return itself was somewhat nasty due to the complications involved in it. But I cannot see in them evil, and I can see it even where it distresses me most (like the guy who had me created and is father by me of two other children, for instance).

Akhlani is a quiet, introspective, philosophical girl. And her twin brother and sister lie swaddled & sleeping happily in my arms. She took much from me. I know that. But then I look at these two little babies, alive again, in my arms. Returned to me. And I see them, breathing content in sleep and in the arms of the mother they still have. And I know that I love these children as I do all my others. More than life itself. The two infants are sleeping, calmly, I feel them breathing and feel through my empathy that they are happy. They feel loved. These are my son and daughter and this young girl sitting calmly watching me is an older daughter. I shall not see in them any more than that they *are* children of mine. Beautiful and handsome. *Mine.* Meremi feels the same, and takes care of all these children with love like she has for Merehaza, and my namesake and dad's namesake.

The Gods returned these little babies to me. I shall not see them as anything other than gifts, chances to raise them to be the wonderful, happy, strong, and loved children that they will grow up as. The little girl just shifted to a slightly more comfortable position. is a wonderful thing. And children.....they are life's blessings.



songsofemelnuvi: Sarasvati, Hindu goddess of learning (Default)

September 2012

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